My Summer of Romance, Sensuality, and Self-Care
How I'm enlivening all the senses this season 👁️👃🎶🍉🌞🧖🏽♀️
I recently found myself deep in the throes of a heated conversation with some girlfriends about what’s considered “appropriate” for women to share on the Internet. While that’s a newsletter for a different day entirely, I open with this fact because our conversation, along with so many recent “a-ha” moments around myself as a woman and the desires I carry, has been fueling my impulse to make this summer the most sensuous, unapologetic season to date. I want to be in love with myself and my life. Period.
I know I’m not the first person to point out the many unspoken rules and restrictions surrounding women (read: everyone really, but especially women). So often, these limitations are deeply rooted in a fear of upholding certain societal and cultural norms. For the past few years, I’ve mentioned time and time again that I am on a homecoming journey, a path of remembering who I was (and am) before anyone told me what I should be. My biggest navigation system in that process has been my intuition. And following your intuition is so much about honoring your desires, regardless of how “wrong”, solicitous, or misplaced they may appear. Deep down, we know what’s best for us, and I believe that wholeheartedly.
So this summer, I am committing to doing things on my own terms and to falling in love with my life again. That means wearing what I want, eating what I want, embracing the beauty and mystique that is my femininity and individuality. Even the word “sensuous” has become pregnant with so many negative connotations. I shouldn’t have to clarify, but alas, still feel I do: when I say I am having the most sensuous summer to date, I mean one that delights each of my senses—smell, sound, touch, taste, and sight. Like Aphrodite rising from the ocean, I’m stepping into the world anew, a physical embodiment of the love mirrored inside of me. Here are some ways I’m doing it:
Smell👃
Vyrao Free 00: Do you have your summer scent? If you’re thinking to yourself, “What the heck is a summer scent?” It’s similar to a wedding scent, except I wholeheartedly believe you can have a fragrance for whatever season, occasion, or milestone you so choose. After testing the sample pack, I finally pulled the trigger on a Vyrao fragrance! It took me a few days to decide because I loved so many of them, but once I spritzed Free 00 and read that it was a fragrance specifically for “liberation and sensuality”, to feel alive and uninhibited, I knew it would be my fragrance for the summer. It has a strong base note of sandalwood (my favorite!) which makes it tantalizingly inviting, but the top notes are tangy citrus and beautiful orange flower, which also makes it a fragrance all its own. Equal parts zesty and warm, it’s like bottling Call Me By Your Name. What I especially love is that each of Vyrao’s perfumes are supercharged with a herkimer diamond, so it’s a sensual mood boost as much as an energetic one. The brand recommends affirming “I kiss my skin” as you spray the fragrance, and each time I do, I feel like I embody all the Red Beast energy I’m hoping to conjure this season.
Skin Scents: Underneath Free 00 (and all of my perfumes for that matter), I always, without fail, wear a combination of skin scents, which is like your natural smell, but accentuated beautifully. I always default to Nemat’s Amber Oil for my base. You can purchase this at Ulta, Whole Foods, and Amazon. Once I feel properly doused, and because I’m extra, I’ll then go in with something from the Molecule line. Lately, it’s been Molecule 04 because it pairs so beautifully with Vyrao’s Free 00. If you’ve ever smelt someone at the grocery store or IRL that you think to yourself, “I can’t quite tell what you’re wearing or why I like it, but I need to know what it is,” it’s probably a skin scent. Use it as a base and prepare yourself for a flood of compliments. Some others I love are: D.S. & Durga’s I Don’t Know What, Le Labo Another 13, and Dedcool’s Milk.
Sound 🎶
Janelle Monaé - The Age of Pleasure: This 👏 album, y’all! THIS 👏 ALBUM. As Pitchfork so eloquently writes, through this album Monaé creates “a rapturous Afrofuturistic sound collage for sunny days and sticky nights.” I remember Sam telling me Janelle’s music video for “Lipstick Lover” was trending because it was so “solicitous” and thinking to myself, “Why shouldn’t women be able to express themselves creatively without restriction?” Once the album dropped, I became full-blown obsessed. In her lyrics and her sounds, you can hear the true voice of a woman fully living in liberation. It inspires me to do the same.
Ripe and Rhythm: A Playlist: Earlier this year, I pulled the “Summer” card from Kim Krans’ Wild Unknown Alchemy Deck and became enthralled with the symbolism of the season in which fullness, ripeness, and vibrancy can all be seen as beautiful, bursting expressions. In the description of the summer card, Krans writes, “To experience summer is to be embodied. The summer air kisses every crevice of our body, opening us up in ways long forgotten”. I knew then and there I wanted to create a playlist that captured this spirit. Thus, the Ripe and Rhythm playlist was born. It’s still very much in progress, so if you have any suggestions, let a girl know!
Touch 🌞
Patrick Ta Major Glow Balm in “She’s On Vacation”: This product was sold out forever, and just recently came back in stock. I knew I needed to order it after seeing this breakdown of Patrick’s make-up look on Alix Earle. As the name suggests, it just gives you the most beautiful, sun-kissed glow, essential for stepping into the archetype of liberated woman during these hot summer months. It also low-key smells like a milder version of MFK’s Baccarat Rouge 540, so if you’re into layering fragrances (which you should be! Did we not learn anything from above?) this would make for the perfect base.
Vacation Chardonnay Oil SPF 30: I don’t know about you, but I love to glow in the summer. What I don’t love? Sunburns. This oil is the perfect combination of SPF + sheen. It’s not too oily, so it moisturizes the skin while also accentuating your highlights and shadows in all the right places. I picked mine up at my local Ulta, but they also sell it on Vacation’s website as well as at Nordstrom. I’ve also tried the brand’s Baby Oil and like it too, but the sheen doesn’t last as long as the Chardonnay Oil and I prefer the scent of the latter.
Gua Sha in the Shower: I saw this TikTok the other day of an esthetician who said she does her gua sha routine in the shower, which I thought was brilliant! I’ve always wanted to be someone who gua sha’s consistently, but could never find the time. Since I’ve been incorporating gua sha into my shower routine, not only is it a luxurious practice of self-care, but it also makes me feel less puffy! I can actually feel the excess build-up draining from my lymph nodes, which keeps my face *tongue click* SCULPTED for the summer.
Taste 🍉
Watermelon with Tajin: This is nothing new. I am a feen for fruit with Tajin, especially when it’s ripe in the summertime. I like mine with a bit of chamoy and a generous coating of the clásico seasoning.
Any other seasonal produce: There is little I love more than heading to a local farmer’s market and getting inspired by all the fresh produce. This is something I believe was always deeply engrained in me, but I never fully had language for until I took my friend Chelsea’s canning workshop. I am *itching* to get my hands on her beautiful new cutting board to inspire more recipes with said produce at home. In the meantime, I am enjoying eating seasonally.
DRINKZ: Sam and I have this inside joke where we always say to each other, “Gimme some of you drank!” because that’s literally my brand ALL THE TIME. I have already declared I am certified Beverage Girlie™, but this summer in particular is the season of the drink. Give me a michelada, a diet coke with lemon, a boba tea, a spritz, a matcha, a lemonade or all of the above—literally any and every drink you could possibly imagine.
No restrictions 🙅🏽♀️ In other words, everything can be a YES!: Over the past few years, I have acquired so much information about food—what’s good for you, what’s bad, what’s considered “healthy” and what’s not. While I’ve never been one who has identified with disordered eating, I have tried every fad diet and trick there is. In my summer of romance and sensuality, nothing is off-limits. If my heart truly wants to indulge in something, I let it, without also swallowing the “shoulds” and shame of others. It’s such a beautiful way to taste the full spectrum of the human experience.
Sight 👁️
Loleia Swim: If you read the first “TT’s Top Three” published on the original CFTL in January, you already know my obsession with this brand. Their new “From the Caribbean” collection just launched and I live for every single one of the prints. In the end, I controlled myself and got suits in “A Splash of Mango” and “Roses by the Sea”.
Women and Desire: Beyond Wanting to Be Wanted by Polly Young-Eisendrath: My therapist let me borrow this book after a session. Little did I know how much I needed the perspective shift. I haven’t finished yet, but even the first 20 pages blew my mind. It’s all about the gap between a woman’s desire to be loved and their desire to fulfill their own personal identity. Fittingly, I plan to finish it this summer. I also picked up Writers & Lovers and will be adding it to my summer reading list, too.
Low-rise pants: Call me rebellious, but I have started to show my midrift again. I wouldn’t even consider myself the most “in shape” version to be doing so with such little care, but I am loving it. I recently posted this Instagram and people went crazy over my pants, which are thrifted and L.L. Bean, but I also recently picked up these from H&M in black and white and like them perhaps even better. You can shop more styles in this post.
Call Me By Your Name and Y Tu Mama También reruns: You know I couldn’t end a conversation about my most romantic, sensual summer without mentioning reruns of two of my favorite summertime movies did you? Exotic locations? Beaches? Peaches!? Need I say more?
A question to consider: In what ways are you embracing your most sensual, unapologetic summer to date? Let me know in the comments or perhaps ponder at a different time in your pages.